Song on my mind right now : vanilla twilight


okay after doing nothing like zero productive activity i'm blogging. I feel so...no words in the dictionary of a learned man could describe this state. Back to what was i doing these months of running away from penning the truth and the endless days of finding the bloody reason of living and putting up with all the nonsense from the people around me. Its kinda stupid to see people react in weird ways on everything i do say, think, eat, wear, breathe, exhale. Its kinda sickening. I had been home for the last two months and i swear it was a pain. The relation with family is sick, i mean they are either to over protective or lack trust or either too busy to think about me. When ever i have a argument on any scale i'm reminded of the gratefull things done by people around me, they have done that by their wishes i never gun pointed people to do things for me. I thought its better to have elderly support from siblings but no thanks it sucks. Maybe i wasnt very much born to live in india by the family bounds. Infact on the basis of my adult life, that life post school i think all i need is financial support not more. My parents mom and dad are getting on my last nerve its kinda stupid but the truth for the moment. My mom has no way of talking nither my dad, they must be very educated but they lack skills of dealing with me. I'm the most twisted person that can be put on earth. They try testing my patience, and my level of frustration i know they do it on purpose but now its time to put an end to it. After my repeated efforts to calm down the situation seems to trash even more. I have quit talking to them, only when there is serious need of money is when i talk. And no i dont find it selfish. I cant keep sulking for something i dont deserve. I missed betty reall bad. But inspite of all the being nice everything went swimming, like the titanic. I have this perky DNA which doesnt let me stay quite in an argument..