after winning over the lame-clumsy&lazy me- the foes of myself, i finally decide to blog! There is so much i have to write but from where to start?? And how to start! However, i choose the most controversial topic, duh! Offcourse me,myself & I. Off lately I have been trying to figure myself out, but then i realised how do i expect others to understand me, when i myself fail to do so! And i know few people who will tell me that the "someone " who will understand me like noone else is my true love and shitty things! But love?!?! Well lets keep that aside, its not the priorty right now! Or maybe it is! I am a contradiction myself! Getting back to figuring myself out! I am not the total "oh-la-la'' types, not the totaly blingy with butterflies around, i am not the daddys princess, i am not a geek, i am not a nerd, i am not a low profile, i am not comman girl next door, i am not material girl, well after all these types where i dont indentify myself with these humanly made groups to make people feel awesome and terrible at the same time. And no i hate that one liner saying " i am, what i am" or i am what i need to be! If i was what i need to be then, by now i should have been in bed with all the signs of responsible grown up adult, which clearly i am not! As R had said every character has layers! But i am just one whole chunk! I thought i am the bad girl with evil plans to destroy every human i hate, lol so by now if i would have done that i would have been a boon to mother nature because the population exsisting problem would have come to an end! I find happiness in the smallest things, you dont need to gift me prada's , and channel but not that these things wont make me go gaga! But all i seek for is happiness! I have been sending food over to my grandmom, and the call when she tells me it was brilliant, i feel like i cant find a appropriate word, yeah, my vocabulary sucks lately. When in movies the lovers just say few things and yes i have tears is my eyes! This is so strange like i dont know whats happening! This whole figuring myself things isnt like a cosmic event of earthly significance! I have the saint and sinner in me who play thier parts on my demand. I realise i want to do everything like law,photography,hair dressing, designing, salsa professional, event managing and even journalism and then later polictics! I love weddings! They are the most beautifull days of a man's and woman's life! And i have been planning its for last 4years like a maniac! From the drapes, to music to food to location to clothes just everything. Now that i know some tricks which people use for flawless skin i over think how stupid can i or people be to believe that the on screen faces are the same off screen, they must be having problems like just any other girl. But they have the money to fix it with corrective surgeries and highly expensive cosmetics treatments! All my parents can afford me is clinique being the highest! Not that i am unhappy but then when i think if i can afford the custom made dresses from the class statement designers like valentino, dior and on lower ones even like fendi! But then again how can i afford not to have those in my wardrobe! The greed inside me is like the galaxy i keep falling deeper but i havnt found the point of satiety! And out of no where i hate pop songs! I love classic rock and just the sufi songs. My code of conduct has been parallel to the x axsis(mybehaviourpreviously) with a slight slope upwards. Hahahaha. This post makes me feel just the "FABULUS ME" =D


rest laters
xoxo