I am back! no just had to POUR out that i am missing A way too much! I am trying to abide by what he said that this isn't "LOVE" but i need to set my self free and maybe i will discover something better then him or ill lowe somebody else! i swear on A i am trying to do that! i don't know if that will happen but i am trying, trying very hard!

all i can say is I miss A. But i shopped alot today! it was decent fun but few things are always better unsaid! this whole post is SOO STUPID! its just fine! i am stuck to some really amazing ROCK songs! thanks to A i am trying to like them! they make me feel HIGH! :)

The whole thing is brilliant! i am enduring it! i will resume to blogging and facebooking only after i have accomplished a very important mission! this is going to be the BREAKING or MAKING time! and here i am with all my armours :P okay okay too much! but i am in love forever and for always! this is something i would want to carry for long!! i am missing you A!
sorry bloggu! but i NEED to do this! for sometime i don't know how long! I will never ever get over/move on over A. If i do take anybody Else's name i shall be sued! because it will be an insult to my love for A! this one's for you shooting star(you're my shooting star)
rest LATERS(sooner or later)
xoxo

LOVE!

I HAVE THE WORLDS BEST PAPPA!!!! and mummaa and everybody!!
i am special! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
ill get back to WHY i am special later
xoxo

good night baby = i have fucked your life and i am laughing my ass out. YOU LOOSE I WIN
guys guys guys, i tell you! wow what a decent way of LOLing! maybe he thought i am heart broken and i need help! sickening as it can get! betty was just online i told her i always keep thinking about A she said its okay dont force yourself to forget, over the period of time, it will be taken care off. i still wanted to ask A. Is it seriously never going to work out? am i really not the one? but fuck it i know he would give me the most amazingly mindblowing excuses reasons answers reality or whatever shit!. So i just thought its better not to even go the way, where there is no one waiting! and why the hell am i not sleepy =P. energy ! i have! i must say!
i am reading this amazing book called "Here we are"

REDEFINING RULES OF FEMINISM ;)

kitne Ajeeb Rishte Hai Yaha Pe...
Do Pal Milte Hai.. Saath Saath Chalte Hai...
Jab Mod Aaye To Bachke Nikalte Hai....
kitne Ajeeb Rishte Hai Yaha Pe...





hooked to this song

What a unusual day today. After sleeping just for like less then four hours, i had the strength to wake up, get ready and go to the college. on my way to the college, got a call from R2 saying S has called us over to his place for movie or something. I had time till afternoon, so i headed towards his place and then had lunch and he was being funny so funny that i was about to throw up the water that reached my gall bladder! :P

then i thought instead of going home early i would rather go to the college library and study whatever in bits. I went upstairs with CHILLING COLD COFFEE, up tied my hair(iamhavingabadhairdayforthreedaysnow)and put the ear phones on and started unwinding in the lib. I did sort out everything about studies, but i ended doing something that i should have done long back. I thought i need to first shop for few things not like the normal jazz but something like really classe/classy =P
okay that dint make sense, but i did jot down the things i REALLY need and not WANT. but every now and then i had A's thought popping up in my mind. So i thought i shouldn't ignore them, perhaps i might end up calling up him out of curiosity. So i thought and thought more and even more, and then it just stoped i don't know how but it did. Then i realised i cant be sweet to other babies and maybe i annoy them by speaking to them in the Queen's English. And not " ooooooobly woooobly woooooosh the rabbit ran out of the bush "! I save that one for my special someone. Maybe i underestimate my life too much because i never over look what other people are suffering through. i realised by morning i get up like a passionate law student, who is chasing her wildest dream and by afternoon i am agitated by the heat,the people around me and by night i am a daddy's lil girl who needs to be loved. and on a full moon night i turn into ware wolf who kills all annoying people around. LOL
i realised my writing is never DEEP and doesn't have to read over again to be understood. first i thought its bad because then how can i be a good writer. But a good writer is one who has his own style. My style is more chilled out,casual, and relaxed. i do reach the crux of matters but my approach is different, in fact way too different.I questioned myself alot today, like am i really immature? do i need to change myself? do i need to get serious about stuff and so on. But seriously my answers were very funny, like if i change with time that's how its suppose to be i cant go forcing myself "YOU HAVE TO CHANGE" it has to come within. Maturity! that is one that comes out on very rare occasions, now i wish they occasions become more often. and on looking life in serious way, wait its again just tackling the problems but the way i approach is my choice. My college library is such an amazing place. One thing i hate to do it proclaiming things again and again. I say it once and it makes sense. I wonder why at times all the things pounce back at me because i never learnt to sort out things. I did manage to read the important articles in the newspaper, i did study a bit and then i realised ill be having a leave for 20days or so i thought i would go home.

I came across this quote in the newspaper column "LOVE IS LIKE THE ART WHICH RELAXES AND CALMS YOUR MIND BODY AND SOUL". It did make sense. R and me will be meeting on Monday, not too much crap but just talks again and sunsets and nicer music. i am waiting for Monday for the cold coffee, my college library and the time with R. I get along well with guys is because girls are too fussy and guys are just on your face! I think its okay to have some mess in life, after all messiness is a sign of being a genius :P. okay it was lame.


This library session was too cool.
rest laters
xoxo

okay, It was a decent morning i woke up with the broadest smile as if nothing went wrong and i got a call from R2 saying i am late (ihadtomeether). I had my own unique reason as always. When i met her she said P's friend S would be coming. I at first wasn't very keen on meeting this "S". That freak made us wait for like a 45mins or more.And finally he pleased US with his appearance! He was like the forever happy distinctly amature dude, me being me i had to first welcome him with my attitude. Later on we started of with debates on politics,religion,and everything under the sun. We were at subway there were these adorable group of kids, all guys (allofthemwouldgrowintogoodlookingmen) ;)
S is also totally crazy, not like me but yes he is soo crazy! we went on playing with kids and the kids kept pulling his leg. It was more like 2v/s10 and the kids were smart really smart! S is very typical cute gujju chokra(boy). S and P walked out of subway before me and R2. While i was leaving a kid asked me "excuse me, can i ask you something." i was like yea sure(icouldntsayno,thekidwassocutee) he asked "Is that guy kinda abnormal??". LOL i went mad laughing, i replied saying "no, hes had a bad heart break and is now mentally disturbed", S gave me that stupid smile. Then S said he needs to shop for clothes and asked me and R2 to come along. i realised guys are more fussy then girls when it comes to shopping. I was soo frustrated with S for not liking anything that he tried out! But at the back of my mind i was constantly thinking about A. S is one guy who isn't out for flaunting but is out just for the sake of having fun. It was evening already i thought i would go home and just feel bad about the whole A's scene that happened. I thought the way A wanted me to think a week back. I thought its not a bad bargain if the wait is worth it. But guys will be guys! they always have room for changing their freakish brains any moment they want. I called A and we spoke crap or even worse. Then i get a text from S saying we all are going out for a ride to the beach come join in. I thought i better distract myself from doing the after spilt crap like sulking and listing to shady songs. So i said yea fine. and OMG he took me the most AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL PLACE! we were four of us B,me,A2 and S. That was the REAL MAJJA! i mean not the late night parties no boozing just chatting with friends on beach with horses and water clashing the sea shore! that was killer. we drove all over the city and just had the real fun. B had an exam tom so he had go home. S dropped me back home on his bike and it was freezing cold. He kept calling me "but baccha, arre baccha" and believe me he wasn't flirting, not at all. He was being really nice, but he has a nasty side as well. And trust me the more you try to act tough and hold yourself saying be strong and don't over think it too much the more you get deeper into the shit. I just let my mind take a back seat and thought as much as my heart wanted to think about A and the best part was that it wasn't aching.

PS: B is a EXTREMELY FUNNY GUY! and this was a nice day altogether
rest later
xoxo

out of the few things that i want to say few are
"KAISE MAIN KAHU TUJHSE, REHENA HAIN TERE DILL MAIN"! (how do i say i want to stay in your heart

"I AM A 'WORK UNDER PROGRESS' YOU COULD HAVE SEEN ME DEVELOPE"


SOOO much mush! LOL

something is majorly WRONG with me.. i want to write SOOOO MUCH!! there soo much jazz happening around me!. but i have been pushing it to far. Maybe i ll write once i have my mind free. Right now its trapped into a couple of other things. My mind and soul have gone through some major roller coster.

:(

i am soo jobless today! infact bored. what way of boredom i ended it i regret it and now i also feel okay with it! ooohhoo! i am planning out how to study. this thursday so isnt intresting. i think i need therapy. to be specific retail therapy! R2 is going for a holiday next week, when she told me this i wanted to SCREAM AND SAY TAKE ME TOO!!! i want to go somewhere really bad. Or maybe i just wanted to M/O with A so bad! maybe this is soo weird! It doesnt take a single second for guys to change shapes! but right now i want to go the beach. Or just again have the yestarday evening to relive as a option! me and my mood swings. Here i go now again mush-ing my head up!. There is soo much to do tonight! YAYNESS i guess! okay i am loosing sanity.
rest laters

I have been waiting so long to feel SO GREAT! i never thought this day would have been perfect. This is that feeling i got few years back in boarding school "girl's turn off the lights and get into the bed". My hair is messed up and sticky and face is oily and i am smelling of happiness. I have braided my hair after ages and it feels great i am already into my night wear. i am missing my matron coming into the haunted dorm and yelling at us to say the good night prayer and go to sleep. that was so perfect, i remember group studying and S,K pestering me to study and stop getting scared and then group hug and late night talks. NO Internet, NO mobiles, NO tv just real people to talk to. Over the years i have become DUMB and NUMB i am not adapting anything that's nice. I am just turning into "everybody else". I don't even write beautifully now, nor do i understand deep writings, nor does news paper attract me. THIS IS NOT ME! i have lost my command over English as a language. i don't pronounce words properly. My vocabulary is stale and stinks. I don't read anything nice and interesting. I got a ATKT in my first year. i am pushing my luck too hard. Maybe i am not completely efficient as what i thought i was. TOO MUCH SELF BELIEF ain't a great thing. I never imagined my life like this way back then. I am ZERO there is so much for me to learn. I AM TURNING into material girl's. Today the sunset wasn't romantic but serene. I have stopped thinking like i used to. I have definitely lost my originality. Back in school i was a bright and brilliant and now i am faded and dumb. My brains, my aesthetic sense seem to have rusted. I keep yelling get a life, where as i have lost mine as well. I need to regain myself. The strong foundation of my character was my originality but now its nothing there is no foundation. Is my life all about just shopping and roaming aimlessly? or as people call it chilling because its my time to enjoy? No enjoyment for ME has always been different from other's. That's why i have few but the best people to top my friends list. I am on FINDING-MYSELF-MISSION. R has made me believe denial helps to a great extent. Hes the best thing that happened to me in Barnes life. Hes my bff but just like Betty they have evolved with time unlike me. But before i stop identifying myself and feel ashamed of what i have turned into. I need to get back at life. I remember telling A i hate sunsets and nature and crap! but no I forgot i am the most nature loving person! i remember sitting on titanic and writing and humming tunes. these three years have been a roller coaster. What happened to Ms.pricey but smart where did she vanish? and Who is this Ms.proud and dumb?. what happened to big dreams? what happened to career? the real career? What happened to your way of looking at things.! R says pay no heed to the obvious! that's so true!.I am sabotaging my own beautiful blessed life. Its important to have people who know the real, the most genuine you. hopefully i shall incorporate this into my aimless life and be the princess i was born to be not to conquer the world but to conquer the greed of knowing everything in the UNIVERSE.! and I HAVE STOPPED QUESTIONING MYSELF!

PS: i hope this get better, this feeling is what i needed. I am not upset but astoundingly happy and thankful
PS 2: VALENTINE's DAY was a brilliant movie!

When i think of you, i dont feel so alone!

for the only one! i wish i could sing this to him

a revenged night!!

Aaise Jaagi Re
Main Raat …Aaise Jaagi Re..
Koi Neend Ko Trshe..
Lekin Neend Na Koi …Tarsh Kre..
Aaise Jaagi Re Main Raat.........

Main Kai Raah...Badal Ke Chali
Par..Har Raah..Tu Hi Mila
Ghadi-Ghadi..Tohe Binti Keeni
Mitt Ja Re (Go Away/Vanish)Main Raat
Aaise Jaagi Re....

Kbhi Rote...Nayna Roke
Kbhi Khud..Dekha Roy Roy Ke
Kbhi Kbhi.. Bas Me Thi..Apne
Kabhi Na Re…Main Raat
Aaise Jaagi Re......

Raat Bhar Mein.Aaisi Jlee
Subah Tak..Surat Gyi Bdli
Raat Ne..Mujh Se Liya..Koi
Badla Re.. Main Raat
Aaise Jaagi Re.....

Jle To.. Lge Sare Deep Dukhi Re
Bol Na Maun Sukhi The Hey..

even i just had to post this!

WHAT A KILLER SONG!!! loved it

DONT BITE your nails! DONT suck your sleeves, DONT leave your hair open all the time, DONT go in the sun too much, DONT eat too many sweets, DONT watch soo much of tv,DONT's my life is about the DONT's that i end up making my DO's. When i am nervous i bite nails, i had recorded a song for betty as a return gift which was horrible! but A insisted on me sending it to him i did and laughed his guts out!(DOG) so my fake nails were too hard to even think of biting and i thought ill do something and remove them at home itself! but FUCKNESS!! it pained and hurt! and was even bleeding! A got so pissed and punished me as we wont talk tonight! switched of the cell phone logged off IM's etc! i wish i would have listened to maa when asked me not to do all that! right now i running with questions and questions to the exsisting questions! weird but me! and now its like i have such a VAST portion to study but so little time! btw betty loved my song! and truly thats all that matters! ill record few more songs for me!! why do i seriously have my own unturned logic!
why cant my life be normal like others?? being me for a day is a task! i do nothing in the day but yet soooo much! today we had a argument in the class and the other chic was yelling! i mean yelling at one person across the room doesnt prove you right! i kept my cool and just spoke few lines but they were way to apt! the teacher was like "you will make a great lawyer". i was on cloud nine! so much that i went and studied! it was decent time that i studied but i need to put in more!
i am becoming OLD fashioned now! but trust me its cooler! retro is never out!
xoxo

PS: making a stratergy on how to survive the punishment! :P

i was to leave tomorrow morning. BUT NO HOW CAN MY MIND AND HEART co-ordinate!??!??!
now i want to leave today evening! LOL! my parents are so pissed right now! because we planned dinner tonight! but i just HAVE to go! now i am running and yelling all over the place because i need to pack my bag and i have nothing in place! first i was in a hurry to come and now i am in a hurry to go! but this is soo much fun! i never miss to find MAJJA in any situtation! i missing betty cant wait to go home and speak to her about what happened previous days!
xoxo

and the change in my layout from a shocking purple and black to a sudden simple black and white with flowers! is because EVEN i don't know! i just liked it! it looked classy! and everywhere around me there is soo much sho-sha that i wanted my blog to be simple and nice!! :D
xoxo

i was suppose to be in class by now! but i am not, i am at home blogging. my class friend P had called because i told her ill come to college on Monday! how sweet! sometimes its important to look around and see people who care for you! shes a sweetheart! betty wished me happy v'day! my love,my life my everything! last night after dinner at chitra mavshi's place. i had called K she said she still speaks to that BASTURD ex of hers because she still loves him and cant get over him! what dumbness!! i mean the other day her mom was crying on the phone and was ready to disown for even talking to him! how ridiculous! i am still missing A terribly! this wasn't suppose hurt i knew there was a end to it! still stuck in the shaddy song phase! i am just over reading A's mails again and again!

"Tum hi socho zara, kyun na roke tumhe
Jaan jaati hai jab uth ke jaate ho tum
Tumko apni qasam jaan-e-jaan
Baat itni meri maan lo" i wish i could sing this. now i exactly know the loop holes of life and i will start studying tom because exams are nearing! and love is not the food of life! :P my sad humour! :P

but that's fine i guess my life is all about randomness so a random heart break, random brokeness, random atkt, random love, random tattoo, random ME


PS: i despartly want to go back and start attending classes and start studing and want these 5 years to pass like a snap and become a criminal lawyer and then become rich and then invest the money in my fashion house and then become even more richer! :D:D

14th feb. huh what valentines day??? so? big shitt? fuck cares??? not because i dont believe in love but i am in love! i had it but i lost! i want it soo bad! previous post seem soo sadistic and emo-ish! but it is not! it was my mood that i was writing in that affected the way they are penned down! i had to post this because i dont know what i exactly want or what i exactly feel. my greed is more then normal human greed! eating a kala khatta gola isnt satisfying me i want to go hit a store and shop for everything i ever wanted. all i right now want is A so badly. i am missing betty she can make me feel alright! all this is like soo weird. No one wonder i know i am great at PHUCKING THINGS! i make my life difficult all by self! when all i needed was to study where did LOVE come from?? i wish i was autistic then i would be extra ordinarily smart but i couldnt understand emotions! that would be so cool! okay no it isnt cool! but it would have better then this! I WANT I WANT NEED A right now!!

the train journey was so phucking boring because the train was over flowing with people, someone couldnt even fart comfortably. I cant travel via bus and cars but the worst part is i cant even travel by 1st class AC because i am nasuatic to a closed place with AC and in motion! and that is a pain!. but what kept me smiling was i was speaking about A all to K and blushing the people around me dint make difference till someone dint crib to move from one place to another! the train had haulted at a station for one hour! that made my mood disgusting but again talking to A and then talking about him made it alright! Dadu and harshu were at the station waiting for me! i just wanted to go home and see my parents and even more see thier reaction towards tattoo i had made on my chest.i went home and coco was licking me all over! it FELT HEAVEN! and then mom told me no one had dinner all were waiting for me no wonder it is different to be home after a long time! and the usuall dinner with mom dad and brothers and the small discussions which i never like to be a part of! i had missed them so long. then the normal madness of yellling in house for the smallest reasons and speaking from one room to the room of the house and doin WHAAT????. usually when i am home i DONT AT ALL MISS other people or any place! but i was missing A. parents DID REACT!! they had to yell and crib but i know them to well to do something more then this and then test thier patience! so my wildness has stopped here for a while a though! it was half past 12 and i called up A. i had to tell him what happened but it was all fine because his words and stupid gestures make it all so fine! we ended up speaking till 7 in the morning! i realised i just had two days left of the most wonderfull days. i wanted to freezzee the damn time i wish i never let the days pass by!! but as said all good things come to an end! but i realised this wasnt obsession! it cant be obsession. then sleeping on YOUR bed with your bestest brother fighting in sleep was like sleeping on bed of roses!! sleeping to end of one the most beautiful nights! i had A on my mind running and raping my mental state! i wanted to sing untouched by veronicas to him so bad the moment we had to hang up..

REALITY CHECK!!

dena---------------no--------dena------nai-----------dena----------------nahi! please dena-------------nahi no nai no (fuck off)!
00:51 am (my last call)
okay my reality!!! guys have this amazing power to prove thier side so RIGHT, that you fall straight away on your face! when you realise that this is it!! there is a turning back in life and then you realise oh shiitt not again! even this isn't it!!! right now my mind is divided into so many areas that its hard for me to figure out which one is over powering the other areas! i haven't even been online alot since i am home, neither am i facebooking! nor blogging! but i need to talk to betty! i am terribly missing Mr.A
i have sooo many questions but no one can answer them! right now all i want is coffee and a nice place to sooth my mind! i got this EXACT SAME FEELING when i realised school was over! like i want to pen/blog it down but i just cant the find the words or maybe people would find it too lame! just like they found my ATTACHMENT with my school so lame! i know ill get "OH-C'MON-GET-OVER-IT" reactions!! but that's fine i always do what i want to even if after that i will regret it, ill blame myself not anyone else!

hyper MAJJA syndrome!!

MAJJA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! After a nice week of decent relationship with confusion! now i want to do majja! pure form majja is MADNESS/PAGALPANTI/RADHIKAGIRI!! i am addicted to a very dangerous drug! *cantbespokenabout* It feels awesome to be home! constant attention!! i like hear my name after every 5mins!! i cant answer questions about life with a WHY AND HOW!!! i feel insane and powerful at 18 and the other part of me is regretting being born in 1991! HUH!DUH!BOOM!BASSH!POW!!money,secrets,love,fashion,atkt,tv,movies,food,confusion,money,love,money,me,myself,bitchy,MAJJJJJJJJJJJJAAA!!!

i am so confused! but its soo right to be that way! confusions add spice to life!!

12:30 in the noon and my house was filled with cousins, vajumavshi and jui. as usuall i had to make myself and my brothers coffee with toast and jam. i had to wake up A at 12:30 but i was late. the way he wakes up just make me go nuts over him! and then i was watching tv and my harshu was passing the funniest and the stupidest comments! by then it was 2 like time was running hell fast. we dint have a nice lunch but just munched on chips and biscuits and played psp games and watched videos on youtube by then it was 6. i wanted to destress myself so what can be better then cooking! i decided to cook paneer makkhhan wala. yash went to get the stuff and helped me dice the veggies and paneer. he loves cooking too. by 8 it was ready and was yummy! dadu, harshu and yash had food and then again madness soo much of yelling and nonsense happened that mom had to say we are junglis but it was my part of having fun! harshu got pretty frustrated becuase the entire night i spoke on the phone n dint listen to what he had to say but how to tell him inside i was asking for freezing the time! just one day to go! and then we call it a OFF! uhhhhhhhaaa!! i wanted to use all my power and hold it back! but sometimes its not in our hands! we again spoke till 7 30. A dint realise but inside i was asking only for more of him! he thought ill be okay and strong but no after he hung up i wanted to SCREAM MY GUTS OUT!!!! i felt just soo handicapped! again just like when i was leaving school behind and was walking through the gate lodge! damn things have always been weird with me! the song on my mind was we belong together! sometimes guys fail to understand alot of things!i hate arun i can kill him i want to stab him a million times and want him to feel handicapped about it even worser to me!

COFFEE ADDICTION!!! BARISTA COFFEEE, CHURCHGATE STATION COLD COFFEE!!
pagalpanti this is! i have just stopped chewing because ilovecoldcoffee!! i feel in heaven! i loose my mind! its feels great! i mean i know it is exaggerating! but that's how things are with me. EXTREMES OF EVERYTHING!
right now i am living with deepest SECRETS! i feel like taking a "sick leave" from life and running away somewhere. The salon chick yesterday said "you are the most RANDOMEST teenager i have seen" but i took it as a compliment! i have been trying to study but it was a unsuccessful attempt because i don't know where i can study. but anywhere other then my home! i can never study at home! now i want one more tattoo with a symbol of "halo". but no my heart doesn't allow me! mind is always "mindfucked" so i avoid even listening to what it says! and right i have mixed emotions flowing in me!

my stars right now are very ABSURD! but i am so much in the love with the moment that i am immune to this absurdity! :)

"So you know why avoid relationships, n you are a strong gal i expect alot from you. don't "LET ME DOWN", GET A GRIP ON YOURSELF!"

Why did it hurt so much???
Betty sang this song for me! i mean that was the most heart touching thing! tojo is behaving like this totall jerk! and i know he wont accept it! Mr.secret is being CONFUSING! and in all of this i am getting smashed!
Betty says love is tricky! okay it is! i agree! i even accept we cant always get what we want! i am unhappy with my hair colour. i am scared because i am goin home tom and i am ALREADY MISSING home! this is dilemma!
LOVE,HOME,LIFE whats happening! damn! this is one of the most HANDICAPPED situation i am facing! and no i am HATING IT


but i love this song! the video is soo phucking amazing!
i it

so IN LOVE!

PHUCKING HAWT!! i love this! it is the bestest part of me! my name! :D

Radhika: challo ill go have shower
and then talk to you


Amrita: oki
b back :(


Radhika: yea
heart broken i am!


Amrita: aww sweety
>:D<


Radhika: :*
love you


Sent at 10:44 PM on Sunday
Amrita: :*
come back quick


Radhika: yea
:*
<3


Amrita: :)


Radhika: gawd why are guys soo sick!
i am sick of them already


Amrita: i swear
shower first :*


Radhika: yes
:D
byee


Amrita: :D


Sent at 10:46 PM on Sunday





SHOWER,SHOPPING everything is soothing! :D

:(
stupid lovers game!! god its sickening!
Why does my heart always go hopping around the things IT SHOULDNT!
i always enter the restrected area's of life

Valentines!

Valentino has the BEST gifts for "her" section! the black and white dress and the perfume!! the perfume is old but yet its amazing!! i think we over rate valentines day!

Gucci has promotional offers as well!! like there is business everywhere!! where does the love disappear then?? in the earning?? :P

but yet i want the damn Valentino rose hobo,juicy charms,Betsey Johnson watch and a ysl young love perfume! the LUST EDITION FOR FEB!! :D

If patent bags are yestaryears fashion WHY is DIOR still designing them!!!!

extentions

I got these nail extenions done because my nails JUST don't grow!!the nails are neatly french manicured and look beautiful they even make me happy but THEY ARE A PAIN! i cant type text messages i cant open cans etc and the worst part is that, now that i have these extensions my nails ARE GROWING! and i ll have to keep going for fill in or else they look ugly! no pain no gain! damn the nails look hot but damn!

it takes 2 hours to get them done!! i cant belive i was that patient!

TELL ME WHY!?!?!?!?!

Okay i was in the class attending legal language lecture and the teacher was impressed with me, but my cell vibrates *new text* the text said check your mail. I JUST LEFT THE CLASS! i walked out! and then just wanted to read the mail but my bad luck i couldn't fine a Internet cafe near by! it was the most awaited mail! and then i finally read it.. SWEET AS IT COULD BE but yet! i just wanted that thing happening! i have never faced "WAIT" as a option! okay i know life is compromise but i did my part of waiting. Now i cant! just cant! WHAT LAME LOOSER LOVERS LINE! if you really love me you will wait and if you don't then you don't love me! damn it i ain't gonna prove anything to anyone! but what kept me calm was poking of Dr.A's text messages, that guy is so funny i mean he just cracks me up! even my college library helps me calm down! its a nice place i did actually study!! its way better then understanding these unsatisfied humans! i met this chic at my salsa class she said i was confused! as to why ??? just because after law i want to do fashion designing?? WTF why cant people GROW up and believe in multi tasking! Even if i am confused that's not her concern! my life will be how i lead it and ill be the one to blame if its screwed! Is it that all my life PEOPLE will tell me things about me??!! DUH NO. i love coffee! i am becoming coff-ohlic! i tried to find peace in coffee shops when i am home sick its working! like EUREKA :D

I have noticed this that when things are not in places i always end up doing something that i always wanted to do but i dint due to fear or something or someone! like it makes me stronger! i went to a tattoo artist! and YES i am getting a tattoo done! without my mom having knowledge of it! she is too sceptical! and my dad will go bonkers but yet i want to do it! its not something fancy, wait its the most amazing thing in the universe, my NAME with a tiara! on my chest! i don't care what reactions i get but ill get it done! and the shady songs phase still continues, in fact it got worse! i am falling in love with book stores! i realised i can shop for anything and everything and everywhere!! what a maniac i am! :P

Why do i treat myself with NO LOVE

i realise i am just loafing around and spoiling things for myself! i am hiding things from myself! i should start studing and start utilizing my time. But i just dont know what phase this is ! but today i woke up to a bad dream and now i guess its HIGH TIME i do something! i need to start figuring out what life is! damn it why do i have NO love left for myself because if i had love left i wouldnt treat myself with this priorty! but there are some awesome things happening!

one of the best evening

I had one of the best evening with anand by just doing absolutly NOTHING, there was soo much our talk but yet nothing! there was nothing to speak but yet soo much to hear! the sunset and walk through the crowded roads! A completely different side of him i could see! it was a perfect way to end a day! :D

A part of me

"There were always in me, two women at least, one woman desperate and bewildered, who felt she was drowning and another who would leap into a scene, as upon a stage, conceal her true emotions because they were weaknesses, helplessness, despair, and present to the world only a smile, an eagerness, curiosity, enthusiasm, interest."
— Anaïs Nin

Perfect for women like me, who have a zillions of emotions :)

Nostalgic!

Is listening to the most shady love songs! god why does time pass by!
but i keep listening to YE DOORIYAN from LOVE AAJ KAL and i love that part
"KAHAN BHI NA MAINE, NAHI JEENA MAINE TU JO NA MILA!"
this is soo wierd! like i don't know whats happening. err no i know whats happening but i don't want it to pass